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いつもこのような人の存在がありますね~

今天去了剪髮。髮型基本上沒什麼分別,只是短了點。髮質應該也好了點,因為做了treatment。
現在的頭髮很香(^_^)v

我的髮型師Tick呢,很像我哥。每次都親切的和我談天。
我知道,我知道。那是基本上每個髮型師都會做的吧。
不過呢,他跟我還算投契的。現在我有他MSN(actually right now I’m talking w/ him)和電話了:)
Anyway,他今天說我長大了。比跟我第一次見面時,長大了。
我:「那是因為我電了鬈髮吧。」
T:「不是那個啦。鬈髮不會有關係呀…我不是說你真的長大了許多啦。你呀,還是個”妹”(this hurts me a little bit) 。只不過呢,成熟了,思想也有少許不同了。」
我:「嘻嘻,真的嗎?」
やはり成長しました。

我自己覺得,在很多時候我都像個姊姊。至少在差不多同齡的男孩面前。
或許,是一直以來的影響。照顧弟弟,是責任。還有許多許多父母的朋友的小孩,都比我小。所以一直以來,我都是負責照顧他們的。
就是這樣培養出來。
你們可能不會認同吧。在很親的朋友面前,我沒需要當個姊姊(事實上你們都比我大啦xd),而且,在家中面對弟多了,大概累了,也不想當個24/7的姊姊。
但有些時候,我會暴露了那一面的我出來:總是想保護著別人的我。
Selfless,這是我用來形容自己的一個名詞。
這種性格,有好有壞。
在所謂的成長之中,我希望我會慢慢拿到selfness和selfish的balance。顧慮別人之餘也要想想自己。

中庸之道。

最終的に,彼ははっきりと話します。

大野智をサポートしてください。
So finally, 大野君 denied both charges. Phew. This is such a relief for me. But I wonder how people would look towards this event.
In my point of view (and also many oversea fans), 大野君 could not have taken marijuana. Because this kind of "drugs", can done a huge impact on a person's brain. If 大野君 was smoking pot, he could never have done any great performance. And maybe many people do not know, but he has been the one who is the most excellent performer among the members. Plus, there's no any proof of him smoking pot in those photos. Just because he made silly faces, that doesn't indicate that he's been smoking pot. Isn't this a common sense? According to the magazine, a source (a girl to be precise) said that she witnessed 大野君 using marijuana. But hey, when does those written words become something we, people with common sense, believe in? Just because there were words saying he was smoking pot, with no picture for proof, then people believe in that? Come on! It's either the people are being unfair or being totally fooled by cruel paparazzi.
So what if 大野君 had really done 3P? What if he has certain special interest? What if he is a pervert secretly? When does that become something we should criticize about? Just because he's a celebrity, does that mean we, the people who know only some parts of him, can comment on his private life? Personally, I don't like to know that someone has done 3P. But that won't make me dislike that person. Because that's his interest, that's his choice. We don't have the right to tell him that he cannot do that, do we? I guess everyone has their own little secrets. I can tell you I have mine. So why do the public has to be so cruel to dig 大野君's secret out and let the public know? This is totally unfair. Especially in a country like Japan, it isn't very shocking to know people play sex games or sth like that. People should not criticize a celeb doing this when many normal citizen on the streets have been doing the same thing. Plus, playing 3P isn't a crime, it isn't illegal. So why do people have to have such a huge reaction? They are all overreacting.
And now the truth is, 大野君 didn't play 3P. He denied it. Although you can say that is the only way for him to respond, whether he had done it or not. Being a fan, I'll believe in. And, we fans, have already discovered that those photos were being photoshopped. That means, he didn't somke pot, and he didn't sleep with 2 girls at the same time.
I never thought that the paparazzi can be this cruel and unfair. In my point of view, the reason why the mag did this is 大野君 becomes the leading role for a drama for the first time. He started to gain public attention, and the mag has to be that cruel to damage his reputation. This rumour they have spreaded out can do a great impact on not only 大野君, but also the whole group . Because for some people who don't know much, they'll have a different thinking towards them ever since. I heard that there are already some fans quit the fandom because of this (and personally, I think these fans are cowards. Just my opinion). This is very very unfair to such a talented person. A talented singer, a great dancer and a nice male in a whole.
People can be really cruel. This world is indeed very cruel.

Lyrics from Perhaps Vampires Are A Bit Strong But... by Arctic Monkeys:
Cause all you people are vampires
And all your stories are stale

時間は足りなの?

今天一直都待在家中。但卻不能說得上很優悠的一天。
有很多東西要收拾。明天還要跟Cecilia到銅鑼灣買一些東西。
雜誌很難收拾。也很難選擇帶什麼課外書到那邊閱讀。

還有紀念冊要寫(淚)。十幾份耶…
然後我還想為每一個最親的朋友寫一封信,現在我不清楚有沒有足夠時間去這麼做了。

其實今天我每分每秒都在擔心關於大野智的事。
從前的我都不會為偶像擔心得這樣子的。頂多是為Westlife少了一員、Busted解散而流數顆淚。
但自從我喜歡了後,那個Fangirl的level好像提升了超多。
上次翔君骨折的消息一傳出,我擔心了快要哭,心情完全備受影響。
今次大野君的scandal害我擔心了很久(現在仍是超擔心)。
聽說他們有一個節目突然取消了。這樣的一個傳聞簡直已經像是一枝箭般插進我心中。
呀~~~~我要發瘋了!!
That’s why I didn’t want myself to get into a fandom too deep. Because I knew it would affect me too much.
看來是真的。我永遠都會為我最喜歡的偶像帶來厄運。
Westlife→Brian離隊
Busted→解散
October Fall→解散
我知道這樣想很傻,但是即使我有理性的一面,也沒法阻止感性的一面胡思亂想。

很煩。

大野さん!

大野さんのrumourstranslations w/ pics
Ahh seriously, I'm so afraid about this. Because first of all, that's the dear Ohno they're talking about. THE CUTE OH-CHAN. Whether he had done it or not, people who have no idea about the truth would look him in another way, right? And that will also affect Arashi's reputation.
If, if he really did it, then I'm disappointed. I love him still I can say. But, oh god, I never imagine him doing things like that.
What if it's real, or it becomes a big news? Will Arashi be splitting up? Or will Ohno be kicked out from Arashi? Or will the Johnny's company cancel all the Asia tours? I'm worried like hell.
And shit, those photos seem real to me. I can't see if those girls are wearing extra short skirt or worst, wearing nothing, but aren't those some disgusting poses? But I still love Ohno... I'm tearing myself apart.

將來,會像他們一樣嗎?

今天和老媽的大學同學聚會。蠻熱鬧的。
我在想,三十年後,我還可以與我現在的朋友聚在一起,談天論地一番嗎?當然我祈望我們能像老媽和老爸跟他們的舊朋友一樣,不失聯絡,仍然能保持彼此之間的默契。
不過,如果可以的話,我會希望我們大概可以每月至少見面一次。
嗯,這樣就好了。

在這半天的gathering當中,我不斷被問到會否緊張,對於英國留學也好,對會考放榜也好。
對於英國留學方面,我暫時都只是持有興奮、依戀的心情。說緊張,不是沒有,但我相對上緊張會考放榜多一點。
或許別人會感到奇怪吧,因為我沒什麼好顧慮。成績好與否,都不影響我會到英國的事實。但是我畢竟有努力過,付出過,就會有對自己期望,不是嗎?
但是你們會更緊張吧。想到你們緊張的時候,我會很擔心你們。說實話,我是多麼希望我可以共你們一同擁有同程度的緊張心情。以同樣的形式的陪伴你們面對此事。
有時我就像站在崖邊,看你們渡過獨木吊橋。憂慮著,卻又未能切身處地的如你們般害怕。很想協助,卻又好像沒什麼能力去幫忙。
很想告訴你們「我永遠都會站在你身旁的」。That’s how a true friend should be。

のハダシの未来に:
早已相當 乾涸的心的角落中
不需要隱瞞 就快要哭泣的感情
連結那不斷拍打襲來的波浪 直到迷惑為止
只要能夠沖刷去 黯淡雙眼內的影子就好

因為我相信 總是在回首時 會有人支持著我

生日快樂嗎?

candysbday

今日はケンヂーの誕生日!(≧ⅴ≦)
誕生日おめでとう!:)))))今日のパテいーはね、最高ですよ。

和PCLA離開時,她無意之間說了句:「很掛念你。很多天沒見你了。」
誒?!不是上星期見過了面嗎?…
我不是笑你啦。
不過呢。
感動之餘,你這樣我會擔心的喔。還有兩個星期我就要離開了。然後下次再見要等到十二月了,你會習慣得到嗎?
我呢,到了外國大概每天都會在擔心大家吧。今も心配です。所以我一定會好好跟大家聯絡,希望你們有什麼事時會跟我說,好讓我放心。有難題時,也要告訴我啊。即使我未必能切身處地幫助你,但有什麼人和你分擔憂愁必會好過點的。
天呀,我活像個大姊。TvT

Lyrics from I Want You To Know by Chantal Kreviazuk:
There're four roads to anywhere, four ways to everything
We were unbreakable, we spoke our destiny
Let's take a moment out
Go where we never go
Let's make a new world now


PS. Today I met a guy at my age who's going to attend Ardingly College too (through the pre-departure briefing). He looks pretty good, and you know he DOES look good considering I set a pretty high standard for guy's looking. AND! He's studying Psychology w/ me. *wink wink*

ここであう日を 信じたいつかのサマー

今天我去了書展。ケンヂーと一緒に。
やっぱりケンヂーはエゴの本が大好きね,但我媽早就下令不讓我買英文書,所以我倆好像全程都持著不同的aim走。
所以她會覺得和我去書展很無聊吧。
連後來吃午飯和乘車回家都沒什麼交談。
唉。現在怎麼想也覺得自己很失敗。首先,忘了帶手信給ケンヂー(実は、昨日あたしもsouvenirsを持って友達にあげることを忘れます)。然後,因為比平日早起床而在去灣仔的途中睡著了(^_^;)
ごめんね、ケンヂーさん。我明天一定會帶手信給你的。

Anyway, 我買了也不少書的。和以往不同,今次居然一本本地愛情小說都沒買到。我覺得一部分的我是因為稍微長大了,想move on to a higher level;另一方面亦認為自己到了英國後,拿起愛情小說閱讀的機會不太大。反而,一些幾頁已包含什麼小小道理的書籍會對未來的我有用吧。
噢,我開始為將來的我打算了。

老實說,我並不希望自己成為一個太沉迷日本(or any other kind)文化的女生,但我卻發現今天買的書籍竟然都是日文翻譯的!而且,我又再次抑制不到我的「毒癮」,再買了一本日本雜誌(=_=)V
やばい…
其中一本是高本直子さん的一個人上東京。它令我很掛念那個地方,以及那些寶貴回憶。
kotomo

如果有機會的話,我希望在未來五年之內,再次踏上東京這城市的土地上。獨個兒的,到東京旅行。
我很愛那個地方。或許這「愛意」是原自早前的美麗回憶而誕生,不過沒所謂吧。我知道這片「愛意」會持續好一段日子就是了。

回家時發現,我已在無意之間develop了一個習慣:在屋苑噴水池附近舉頭看看PL的家。窗戶打開了,表示他們有人在家;關閉的話,就沒有人。
究竟何時開始有如斯習慣呢?
我想,聖誕節回老家時,我還會有這個習慣嗎?
*PL托我買的兩本書我都買了。剛才我揭了揭黃翠如的遊記,好像還滿面白い的。

要收拾了。終於是時候了。
收拾衣裳、收拾日常用品、收拾心情、收拾回憶的碎片、收拾…...

Ps. 超想要一部LOMO相機~(>"<)

そんな僕らにだって 明日は待ってる

今天媽忽然在電話中說:「我會想念你的。」包含著千言萬語的一句很突然的送進我右耳。
我糢糊地「嗯」的一聲回答。她嘆了一口氣,很明顯的一口嘆息、根本就是要我聽到的嘆息。
我在想,你究竟想我如何回答。
哭著回答嗎?老實說,我辨不到。我並不是如此的感性,沒你感性。
還是要笑著回答嗎?我可不是那種要假裝愉快的人。
沒有一個清晰的回答不等於我不會掛念你、不等於我覺得你很煩。你會明解嗎,媽?
那麼,我要為沒有哭的衝動而道歉嗎?要為給了你一個你不期望得到的回答而道歉嗎?
對不起,「嗯」是我唯一想得到,唯一會說出口的回答。對不起,你如此突然的說話,只能令我腦海一片空白。
我想,你是不太明白我,還是你太喜歡做你心目中想當的那種母親呢?如果你明白我的話,你應該知道我不太喜歡在不適當的時候聽到太沉重的話語。而且,我早告訴你我會掛念你的。請不要我再說多次吧。
說我怕尷尬也好,說我在逃避也好,總言而之我不想再說了。這種千噸重的言辭,聽了一次,然後放在心坎中收藏就足夠了吧。再聽多幾次,當中傳達的訊息不也是一樣嗎?
「我會想念你」不是一種承諾,不是刻意試探,是一種真情流露,不是嗎?所以,請不要特意等待我這麼說了。

karaoke0724

我想我其實也大概明白那種感受吧,不斷猜想某些人是否擁有著與你相同的感情。
我有時候也會想知道朋友們會如何掛念我,會有像我現在的那種害怕分離的心情嗎?我又告訴自己,即使人是群體動物,但畢竟他們都是獨個兒的成長著。
所以就算我沒在,大家仍是會照樣跟隨著時間成長。そう きっと。
那麼,我的離開並未至於那麼重要吧。還是會踏上那條路,一直走下去,活下去。
我也不知道這是安慰自己還是什麼,但大概我的存在會對大家有影響吧,就如大家一直在我身邊對我的影響。

怎麼說也好,我打算自己悄悄的抱緊這種心情就算了。太多說出來的說話,會磨損一些不易看見的小小花朵。順其自然吧。

ps. Kelvin (UK)剛剛打來說會買禮物給我farewell。雖然我們不是什麼要好的朋友,但知道這「好兄弟」也會有好心的一面,也蠻感動的。:)

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Author:ナタリーちゃん
「今経験してることは絶対なにかしらの意味があるんだろうなと思う」
- 大野智

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